I'm Ready

This past weekend has been quite a busy one for me, being that I moved out of my house in Oneonta, New York on Thursday and left Friday morning from my parent's house in White Plains, New York into my new house in Washington, DC. Yesterday was my first official day of graduate school classes, which is a shocking and amazing statements considering just four years ago I was moving into my dorm for my first day of undergrad- and I remember it like it happened this morning. During this time, it may have been easy for me to lose track of my rehab protocol, and that was something I very much didn't want to happen. I made sure that I gave myself ample time and opportunity to take advantage of the facilities on the Georgetown campus and complete what was required of me to continue with my program, and completed everything that I needed to complete.

After Monday's throwing session I had a long phone conversation with my girlfriend, who is still in upstate New York working as a nurse. I told her my arm was feeling good and the specifics of what throwing I completed that day. Needless to say she was pleased with the update of my status, and we continued to talk. We shifted the conversation over to the logistics of her visit to DC- which is in a few weeks- and the plans we have during that time. I told her I couldn't make any set plans yet because there was a good possibility I'd be pitching in a game then. She knew i had received a preliminary roster spot offer from a team in the Valley League, a competitive summer collegiate league based in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, but none of us were totally sure when I'd be able to get cleared and get on the mound once again.

Monday also marked the ten month anniversary of my surgery. There is not too much significance in the thought of ten months, other than another indication of continued progression towards the ultimate goal of health. I hadn't really put too much thought into that significance and really just mentioned it during conversation as a fact more than a relevance. During those ten months of rehab I've had great days, terrible days and everything in between. If there is one person in this world that knows about all of those fluctuating emotions, its my girlfriend Nicole. She's the one that's heard the brunt of what I feel and has been with me every step of the way. She also has never heard me say something that I said to her on Monday.

In the past, I've told her my fastball command feels great and my arm strength keeps increasing. I've told her that my curveball and changeup are progressing, and that I'm getting closer and closer. but she's never heard me say one thing:

I'm ready.

I've been mentally ready for months...ready to focus myself and get on the mound and throw. And my arm hasn't hurt in months either, so pain- or the thought of pain- has not held me back either. But I am a realistic person and know my limitations. I knew that I was not physically capable of successfully stepping on a mound and competing in a baseball game to the best of my capabilities.

Until now.

I'm ready to pitch. I feel confident in all of my offerings. I feel confident in my ability to repeat my mechanics. I feel confident in my stamina, which I've built up gradually in my live simulated games. I feel confident that I'm able to pitch.

This sentiment is something that I have not said since the day I went in for surgery. As I've mentioned in past posts, the thought of pitching was a pipedream for me, a thought so unrealistically unreachable that I didn't much think about it at all at first. I began pondering the notion when I first began throwing a baseball 16 weeks post-op, and continued to ponder it from there. Daydreaming about pitching has occurred while I'm in class, at work, at a party, at dinner. I've found myself in the middle of a conversation with someone and suddenly looking at my reflection in a window while going through my pitching mechanics- without even realizing I'm doing it. It has gradually become all-consuming, the thought of pitching. But I never actually thought I could do it.

It is only a matter of time until I get on the phone with the fine people at the Andrews Institute in Pensacola, Florida and get my clearance to begin competing in a game. It could happen this afternoon, or tomorrow, or two weeks from now. Nonetheless, I will work as best as I can to display patience as best as I can. I've waited this long, and now it is up to the medical professionals to determine when I can step foot on that mound again in a game and throw. But when they finally do call and say I'm good to go, I'll be prepared. Because this is the only thing I've thought of since last July, and I'm excited beyond belief at the potential of it happening.

I'm ready to pitch.