"Haters Gonna Hate"

The amount of irony never ceases to amaze me in certain life situations. Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario: You work in a certain department for a certain company. During your time in this company, you become friendly with an individual of yours in another department. This individual is a colleague of yours, someone that is not necessarily in competition for a higher position in your department but someone who you rely on to a certain extent because of the nature of your work (and vice versa). Suddenly, after an ample amount of time within your department, your superior informs you that you are due for a promotion. You are elated, knowing that a lot of your hard work- and a bit of luck- enabled you to achieve this accomplishment.

As word spreads over time that you will be receiving this promotion, you hear a lot of congratulatory praise from many people surrounding you. These best wishes feel good, and you respond with a subtle and kind "thank you". The vast majority of the acknowledgment you hear involves incredibly positive and uplifting messages...words of encouragement and true, honest congratulatory proclamations.

However you notice that the individual you had previously considered a professional friend, a work-related acquaintance, has not expressed the same congratulatory proclamations as many of the other people around you. In fact, you come to quickly find out that this individual has been providing quite the contrary. This individual doubts your capabilities and your belonging in the position that you were just recently promoted to. And this individual is speaking his or her mind on the subject.

The above situation is something that I have lived with quite often in the last week or two of my life. Throughout the entire Tommy John process I haven't heard many negative comments about my recovery. Almost everyone I know has been incredibly encouraging. But of course they are...why would anybody ever wish an injury on another person? They truly sympathized with my predicament and really did wish me the best of luck. Sure there were certain situations when people would question my readiness, or second-guess the work I put in during rehab. But no one blatantly disregarded my intentions and doubted me.

As soon as I received the news that I had been accepted into Georgetown and committed to playing for the team there, that's when the air around me began to change. No longer was I approached with smiles and high fives ubiquitously. No longer were people everywhere patting me on the back and saying "atta boy!"

I felt a strong sense of doubt. A strong sense of wavering. A strong sense of...jealousy? Could that be? Could my peers...my contemporaries...be jealous? Could these people actually desire to be in my position?

The negativity I have been presented with, in pop culture today, is known as "hating". A hater is described as "a person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person" by Urban Dictionary, a popular website (disclaimer: the website should not be viewed by minors, nor should it be used as a reference in any official pieces of literature outside of a personalized blog such as this). It has come from a variety of angles- individuals that I expected to provide me with this sort of backlash as well as individuals that I was very surprised to hear this from.

Hearing people say I am not good enough for something does not bother me. I have heard someone say something to the extent of "I don't think Josh will cut it pitching next year." Well, I've been hearing that my entire life, and I've done alright for myself up to this point. Hearing people say I don't have the physical attributes to continue playing doesn't bother me. I surely wasn't blessed with enormous amounts of height (I come in at an unassuming 5'11") and I wasn't blessed with the perfect genes (my weight often fluctuates...and I have very small hands). But those are things that are relatively uncontrollable to me, so I can't take them personally.

There is only one comment that irks me more than anyone could ever imagine.

"Josh doesn't work hard enough."

I've lost sleep over that comment. A lot of sleep. And I've heard it from a few angles- again, some expected and some rather unexpected. I've lost sleep not about the fact that these certain individuals feel as though this is true, but that these individuals have even been presented with the opportunity to feel as though this is true. I wonder why these individuals think this way, and what I can do to change this perception. I know I put in a lot of work. I do physical therapy, work out, run. I do yoga, eat healthy, sleep enough each night. I make sure to greatly moderate the intake of alcohol that I have (which can be difficult to do for many 21 year olds), and wouldn't even dream of putting any sort of drug-like substance in my body because of the detriment it would have to my progress.

So I sit up at night wondering to myself why these "haters" feel as though I don't work hard enough. I don't hear many "haters" saying the same for Roy Halladay or Albert Pujols or Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant or Peyton Manning or Tom Brady. Those guys have "haters" in their own right...none of whom question their work ethic. Why, then, does it happen to me?

The angry feelings I have are not directed at the individuals who made this comment. They are directed at myself. I am angry at myself for even allowing this thought to cross peoples' minds...for exerting- even remotely- the sense that I did not have a strong work ethic. Rather than classifying each and every one of these individuals into the broad category of a "hater", I will view the backlash from my good news in a different way.

They're right.

They're right I don't work hard enough. I don't run enough miles or do enough crunches. I don't lift enough weights or do enough plyometrics. I don't stretch enough or do physical therapy enough. I don't focus enough and I don't perfect my rehab throws enough.

They're all absolutely right.

That is why I need to work harder. Because despite the hours and hours I already put in, I still get that backlash. And the one thing I never want is my work ethic being questioned. If what I do now is not enough, I'll do more.

I'll do more until the haters have to pick something else to exploit.

Then I'll fix that too.