In the fall of 2009, I received a phone call from a man who was starting an expansion franchise summer team and he asked me if I'd be interested in obtaining a roster spot for the following season, the summer of 2010. The team was called the Morehead City Marlins (www.mhcmarlins.com ), and the league was the Coastal Plain League (www.coastalplain.com ). The CPL is considered in the upper echelon of collegiate summer leagues around the country, and is loaded with Division I players and professional prospects. I had been made aware that the call may come by a mutual friend that I had with the owner of the team, a man who is an associate scout for the Angels based in the New York City area, and was pleased to accept the offer upon receiving the call.
I played out my sophomore season at school. My team made a magical run to the NCAA tournament and set a school record in wins and winning percentage. After the year was over, I packed my car with almost everything I own and made the drive to coastal North Carolina, where I'd live with a family I'd never met before and join a team of players I'd never met before in an area I'd never been to before.
Before my arrival in Morehead City, I had been successful with a very particular approach on the mound in college. Being a relief pitcher for the first two years of my college career, I lived predominantly with my fastball and curveball. I could locate both a four seamer and a two seamer to both sides of the plate, and I had a big 12 to 6 curveball that I felt very confident with. My changeup was not terrible, but it lacked consistency, and therefore I threw it sparingly. I figured if I flashed it just enough times to make sure the opponent knew it was in my repertoire then it was enough. But it certainly wasn't a weapon by any means.
I was excited to experience the competition in the CPL. The year before there were over 100 alumni of the league that were drafted and nearly 50 that had debuted in the Major Leagues in just 13 years of existence up to that point (fun fact: the CPL now officially has an alum in the NFL as well, as Russell Wilson spent the 2009 summer season in Gastonia). I was thrilled at the thought of the high level of play and large crowds that were supposed to be present at our games.
There was one aspect, however, that I overlooked. The high level of competition also meant that I'd most likely have to make an adjustment. My normal approach, which had been successful up to that point at the Division III college level, would have to be tweaked in order to remain pitching with a similar level of consistency.
Being that I didn't take this into account going into the CPL season, I didn't start off pitching well. In fact, it seemed as if I was throwing batting practice during several of my appearances. Whichever pitch I decided to throw, my opponents would line into the outfield or rip into the gaps. I felt helpless, frustrated and defeated. I didn't know what to do and I didn't know how I was ever going to work myself out of this funk.
One day my head coach asked me to sit next to him on the bus so we could talk one-on-one. These bus conversations are comparable to a minor league coach asking a player to come into his office and shut the door...they usually didn't end good. My head coach, a small older man in his 70's, had won nearly 1,200 games in his Division I coaching career and had the stadium at the University of Central Florida, Jay Bergman Field, named in his honor. He commanded a strong presence and spoke convincingly.
Coach Bergman, or "Bergie" as we called him, told me that he wanted me to shut down for two weeks. He wanted me to spend time each day before the games working with our pitching coach on developing a better changeup. He thought that would help me turn out to be a more successful pitcher.
The next two weeks were miserable. I'd show up to the park each day knowing that my only responsibility for the day was to trek into the outfield during batting practice and throw countless changeups to a designated throwing partner, and do nothing else. I wanted to get back on the mound so badly in order to regain my confidence and to reprove myself, but Bergie wouldn't let me.
Finally, after the two weeks were over, I'd thrown probably a thousand changeups. I was bored with the practice and pleaded with Bergie to put me back on the mound. What I didn't realize, however, was that throwing a changeup was now like second nature for me. The muscle memory was present and the grip felt natural. Suddenly, I was a three-pitch pitcher. I could throw all my pitches to all locations at any time I wanted.
I threw a lot in the last part of the season from that point, and our team earned the #3 seed in the CPL playoffs. My ERA went from 5.23 to 2.49 by the end of the season, and I became a trusted lefty out of the bullpen.
The changeup that I had developed in the CPL carried over into my junior year at school. Thrusted into the Friday starter role, I continued throwing my changeup in all counts and realized just how much easier it was to pitch well with it. Having another pitch gave me a weapon that I had never been able to utilize before, and simply put- it was awesome.
As noted in my last blog post, this past Monday was the first time I was cleared to throw curveballs or changeups since my operation. The bullpen session I threw didn't hurt or present any discomfort in my body. In fact, I felt pretty good. But there was one problem...
I had no idea where the ball was going.
I wound up just like I always wind up and released the pitches just as I'm used to releasing them. Except the curveballs would curve in ways I didn't want them to curve and the changeups would float in locations I didn't want them to end up in. And despite continuing to throw, nothing helped. I had no consistency and no feel for my pitches.
Tommy John Surgery has temporarily eliminated the success I'm used to having with my off-speed pitches. And while I know that this is "just part of the process", it is a scary thought. I've put in all that work in the past just to get to the point that I had gotten to with all of my offerings, and now its as if I'm being pushed back to step one. Dr. Andrews told me that it sometimes takes 6-8 months for a pitcher to "feel like himself" after the rehab process is over, and I assume this is what he was referring to.
Last night after celebrating a conference tournament bid with my college teammates I couldn't fall asleep. Instead of "counting sheep" or any of the typical methods of comforting the body and distracting the mind at night, I got up and walked over to the desk on the other side of the room. I grabbed a baseball sitting comfortably next to a textbook and lay back down. I turned over onto my side and proceeded to grip the ball loosely as if I was about to throw a circle changeup.
I woke up about eight hours later with the ball still in my hand and the grip still in place. Repetition is the only way to get better at things, and practice makes perfect. I don't want it to take 6-8 months for me to regain the feel for my offspeed pitches, I want it to happen as soon as possible. So, I'll force my body to retrieve that muscle memory that used to be so fresh. And I'll do it now.
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